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Back in the olden days, when I taught literature, I often began with a broad discussion of what "comedy" and "tragedy" mean. Broadly speaking, classical comedy is a structure; the stories may begin with mayhem, but they end by bringing people together. Song and dance are the most frequent-used symbols of this social harmony. Comedy, strictly speaking, is not necessarily funny; it can be humorous, but that's not what "makes" a comedy a comedy. When we laugh at something on a...
Some moments in life feel like they are straight out of a movie: your first day of high school, summer nights with your best friends or driving around in the car with the windows down. These are moments when you feel extremely blessed and grateful for the life you have. For me, where I work is one of these special gems. When I decided I wanted to get a summer job, I knew exactly where I wanted to work and what I wanted to do. I wanted to work at a place where I could interact...
The small stack of elderly firewood beside my garage occasionally reminds me of Chet and Ron. They were my first two project bosses after I was hired by a management consulting firm, soon after grad school. Guys in their late 50s, Chet and Ron were managers of big consulting contracts for airlines, insurance companies, manufacturers. As a rookie "green pea" analyst, my job was to collect data and run my thinking by them before parading it before a client. My chief task,...
As a former very frequent flier, I’ve followed the news about Boeing’s 737 MAX airplane crisis and the appointment of a new CEO to drive major change. While this news hasn’t lessened my confidence in airline safety, it did prompt thoughts of my most memorable flights. My first plane ride was in 1955 at age 10. When our Memphis relatives visited us in Richmond, Ind., they invited me to drive home with them for a 12-day stay. My exciting return plan was to fly alone back to In...
It was almost midnight when we settled in by the fire and my friend said to the group, "I want to hear everyone's favorite childhood memory." Groans of protest ensued. "Come on ... a favorite childhood memory, any childhood memory," he persisted. Tired but intrigued, we gave in. I passed on the first go round, combing my brain for a favorite. Other friends jumped right in with stories that ran the gamut - an exuberant purchase of a long forbidden video game system, a broken...
When I moved my household from Washington, D.C. into storage, I got rid of about 100 books. Some were obvious choices, like the global trade textbook that was required for a class I took in 1989 but irrelevant both to me and the current study of economics. Some gave me pause, like the novel "London" by Edward Rutherford. It's an informative history of the city wrapped up in a gripping 2,000-year narrative, but it comes in at 829 pages and weighs a ton. As I went through this...
Each January after the holidays are over, there seems to be a renewed obligation or duty to reorganize. Everywhere you look there are articles, books and news stories that promise to help you tidy up and embrace your inner minimalist. However, for those of us who despite our best efforts can't fully commit to the minimalist movement, there may scientific validation. If you too have a beloved collection of books or a permanent stack of paperwork on the corner of your desk then...
I’ve never actually met two of my best friends, though our friendship has lasted over 40 years. John Irving and Stephen King have been dear companions of mine since 1979. I met each when I was 13, shortly after “Salem’s Lot” and “The World According to Garp” first shocked the literary scene. Each author is thankfully still writing today, and I await each new book like an over-the-hill teenage fangirl. Certainly, I’ve discovered dozens of authors over the years, some of whom...
Every Christmas for the past 14 years, I've sat in a wooden pew at St. Isaac Jogues Church. I've looked around at the evergreen Christmas trees, admired the poinsettias covering the altar and enjoyed generations of celebrating families. But the manger scene has always been my favorite part of Christmas Mass. And why not? It represents all that matters: Christ's birth, the salvation of humanity, the hope of eternal happiness. As a kid, I never doubted the message of Jesus: in l...
Every year, my husband and I debate the aesthetics of our outdoor holiday lights. I like the lights to look symmetrical and enchanting and labor over each light placement. He calls the job done after plugging in a few strands of lights and casting the tangled mass, like a fishing net, in the vicinity of our shrubs, eschewing order for natural chaos, and quickly moving on to other more important to-dos. I'm not sure whose approach is better, and I can see the merits of both...
I was listening to the radio the other day when I heard something that resonated with me deeply. The radio host was talking about the significance of family during the holiday season and the emotional impact this time of year can have for those who do not have close family or have recently experienced a loss. It can be extremely difficult to share in the holiday cheer for many, especially when the people around them are celebrating so publicly and extravagantly. The short...
We sold Mom’s Spode Christmas Tree china set this week on Craig’s List. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?” I asked Mom. She pointed out that we had packed up the set over a year ago. She apparently needed a buffer year before being ready to actually sell it. This got me thinking about collections. Mom’s Spode was not just a collecting event for her, it was a signaling of the holiday season for our family. But last year, no one noticed it was gone. What focused our attention w...
One year and one day ago, a 93-year-old woman ran down my wife, Susan, on the sidewalk on First Street, shattering her, shoulders to knees. Sue and I were out for our daily walk. Those were our times to share, argue about national news, talk about kids and families, and to hold hands. And yeah, more than once, I stopped to kiss her, still smitten like a high school boy even after 45 years of marriage. Coming onto First, we noticed westbound cars stopped all the way back to Gar...
In a recent community theater production, I portrayed a woman who has an affair. “Becky” loved her husband and son, endured a boring job with good humor and did not suffer in any way. Her husband, Joe, was kind, supportive and handsome. And yet Becky still strayed. This plot device became an issue for some people in the audience when the theater group conducted a post-performance Q and A. “It didn’t work for me,” one man said, “because Becky wasn’t miserable. Why would she...
Do you remember where you were when you discovered who you could be? I do. I was at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Well, at least in my imagination. My favorite television character, Rory Gilmore, once said, "I live in two worlds: reality and books." I've related to that sentiment my whole life. As a kid, reading was my favorite activity, my preferred way to pass time. Books spoke to me on levels that no person could. I read in school, in between classes, on car...
No matter how much you prepare or plan for it, parenthood has a way of writing its own story. Its love has a strength that is greater than I could have ever known. My own journey to become a mother looks nothing like I thought it would, but looking back I am grateful for that. My struggle with infertility meant that having a family the way I had imagined needed to change. Determined that my diagnosis would not be the end of my dream for a family, we immediately began to think...
Our family moved to Hinsdale in 1976, buying a more spacious house on a wooded lot with an easy walk to the train. An especially appreciated feature was our much-needed, first-ever basement. We quickly took it for granted, never suspecting that, on three occasions, basements would rivet our attention in coming years. By 1999, we were building a new house on Third Street, an all-consuming, creative project. However, as work proceeded, I started stressing about our upcoming...
They say that time flies. They say that these four years will go by in a flash. But I remember my first day of freshman year. It was a scorching hot day in August. A short-sleeved gray dress was not the best choice to hide those embarrassing sweat stains. Being crammed in a humid, sweaty gym for the first all-school assembly did not mix well with the anxiety of being at the bottom of the totem pole at a new school. Rumors of crazy science teachers, intense work loads and...
"You have to be patient to live here," Patrick remarked with a wry smile. We were trapped in a narrow street in the small French town where we were spending the month. There was nowhere else to go, so we had to wait while the farmer unloaded her crates. It's easier to be patient when you're on holiday. Freed from our regular routines and locales, we take annoyances in stride, even finding them charming. Isn't it quaint that we have to get up early to buy the baguettes before...
Have you ever longed for a flavor? A favorite food you remember from childhood or a particular dish? A little over three years ago, my family made an unexpected cross-country move from Texas to Chicago. After years of training, my husband was offered a job as a cardiologist and medical professor at UIC. It was a great position but it meant moving nearly 1,000 miles away from our friends and family. Suddenly my familiar life changed. Our old home sold in days. I left my job as...
“Wow, you look warm,” someone comments. This is a frequent occurrence for me. Neither dewy nor glowing, I simply appear uncomfortably hot. Which, in fact, I am. But there’s a lot more than sweat going on; allow me to discuss it. Menopause is, of course, a natural phenomenon, and it’s hardly life-threatening. It can be awful, though, and frankly becomes worse because no one wants to talk about it. We often perceive menopause as embarrassing, a painful acknowledgment of aging,...
My teenage son, who runs cross country, shrugs and cringes slightly when I invite him to run with me these days. Once a junior Olympian and collegiate runner myself, I'm no slouch, but there's no denying that my speed and my cool-ness have faded with time. When I look in the mirror, I sometimes see my 18-year-old self with endless energy and a mischievous grin, but sometimes, I imagine I see one of my grandmas - shrunken, crotchety and glowering back at me. It's hard to see my...
I have long dreamed about backpacking the Appalachian Trail and in July, that dream became reality. I've gone on organized hiking trips in the past, but this adventure would be different. No guide or timeline - just fly in, strap on my pack and head north. I found a hiking partner, bought a one-way ticket to Dulles, took an Uber to Harper's Ferry, W.V., and started walking. Our daily routine consisted of hiking, eating and sleeping. The distance we hiked depended on the sorene...
The classic film "Gaslight" (1944), starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman, has been a favorite of mine for years. (Spoiler alert: Set in Victorian London, the dashing, dastardly Boyer manipulates his wife, Bergman, into believing she's going mad. Meanwhile, he surreptitiously searches for her jewels.) I first watched this movie on TV while home sick from school. The plot was irresistible, as was the Beethoven sonata prominently featured in the soundtrack - a piece I was...
Sometimes in life you just have to move on. For me, this time, it happened suddenly. In fact, if you had asked me just a month ago if I was excited to go to college, I'd have said something like, "No, it's still only summer. I have all of senior year left. I just am not ready." The idea of college is a scary thing to a 17-year-old girl whose heart is still set on being a 17-year-old girl and whose mind has told her she still has lots of time to be one. But recently it feels...
