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Sometimes the pain of loss is too difficult to express in words. So Laura Cottrell, bereavement director at Amita St. Thomas Hospice, might ask participants in a grief support group to use a hammer to shatter a bowl. "Then they put it back together. The bowl is never the way it was before," she said. "It is held together, but there are holes in it and there are pieces missing. "The creativity gives them an outlet for emotions they might not know how to talk about or what to...
Pets bring comfort on journey as daugther copes with loss of dad Kathy Burns started grieving long before she lost her dad last year. The process began about five years earlier, when her father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. The family was familiar with the disease, as Burns' mother had it as well. She made the decision to retire from her job as director of global cash for Meed Johnson so she could travel from her Burr Ridge home to southern Indiana one week every month to...
The winter months can bring a variety of experiences and expectations that can leave us feeling at times elevated and at other times exhausted. While some things are entirely out of our control, such as days getting shorter and weather changing 10 degrees within an hour, there are things we can do to enhance a time of year which, for many, can be draining. Different people have various remedies for dealing with challenges the winter months can bring to their doorstep. Some of...
Caregiving requires individuals to employ a number of skills in a variety of roles - and to do so with a great degree of flexibility. "In many ways caregiving requires that you become ready for anything," said Ellen Nieman, an oncology social work navigator at Wellness House in Hinsdale. She and Cassandra Waliczek, a licensed clinical social worker with Amita Adventist St. Thomas Hospice, discussed the topic Nov. 13 at the Hinsdale Public Library. The Poetry of Caregiving...
"Consider the way she has taught me to tenderly pull up his socks and cover him with a quilt, put drops in his eyes, rub powder on a rash, splash his neck with Old Spice, then bend down to kiss his cheek goodnight." - from "The Caregiver" Caroline Muller Johnson has a deep appreciation for people like Donna, who took care of her parents full-time for years. "Donna was a wonderful person," she said. "She really taught me a lot about caregiving - a different kind of love than...
Bette Davis had it wrong. Remember her famous line? "Old age ain't any place for sissies." Seriously? What part of life is for sissies? Toddlers are on a straight uphill battle learning how to walk, talk and get the Cheerios into their mouths, instead of up their nose. Adolescents - yikes! That's a time filled with changes, inside and out, and the feeling that every thought, blemish and worry is about to go viral across social media, meme'd and "liked" a thousand times....
Often, when we think about aging, we think about a version of ourselves that somehow gets eroded over time. We tend to have a negative attitude toward aging; this seems to be reinforced in our own awareness of how our bodies and minds respond to the passage of time. These days, we are living longer; yet, we cannot forget to strive to live better. Extending our life span increases the burden of physical challenges, losses and the question of meaning and purpose. Recognizing...
"To be alive is to be aging." That's one of the messages of a new website devoted to helping connect those who are aging and their loved ones with information and resources. The website, redefiningaging.org, was established through the leadership of Community Memorial Foundation in partnership with The Hinsdalean and members of the Healthy Aging Task Force. It was announced last week at two events: a May 1 lunch at The Community House featuring Mary Schmich (see story above)...
"It's not about staying young. It's about acknowledging what is truly happening to you." That was among the insights Pulitzer Prize-winning Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich shared with about 250 audience members during a talk at The Community House May 1, co-sponsored by King-Bruwaert House. Among the topics she covered was what it means to age and how to redefine that latter stage of life, drawing on her own experience watching and walking with her mother in her final...
Up until a few of years ago, Lop Chin could climb ladders "like a monkey" and hold his own against his son on the ping pong table. Turning 60, however, seemed to usher in a sensory slowdown and greater susceptibility to aches and pains. "All of sudden I can't see the ball anymore. He's kickin' my a--! It's not good," Chin said with a laugh. "My body can no longer do things that my mind thinks I can do. Now things I would normally do myself, I hire out." Chin, 62, is in his...
Ly Hotchkin doesn't mind being 94. She misses having a drivers license and better eyesight, but she still enjoys laughing with people she loves over a good drink. That wasn't the case 18 months ago. At the time, she was ready to die - and she told her doctors as much. "I begged them to let me die because I was so lethargic I didn't want to do anything, and it was horrible," Hotchkin said. "Guess what they did? They put this pacemaker in." The device changed everything. "The...
Five years ago, Jim Horn retired after practicing law for more than 35 years. "To be honest, I did not have a plan going forward other than to just withdraw from the professional world and live a healthy lifestyle and wait and see what might appear or become interesting or capture my imagination," he said. What captured his attention was a diagnosis of stage 3 prostrate cancer after his physical in February 2016. "I was absolutely shocked," he said, noting that he had been act...
The number 85 is a target for Hinsdale's Bill Brandenburg. He's already reached it in terms of age; the goal now is to match it (or lower) with his golf stroke total. "I shoot my age fairly regularly," Brandenberg remarked, noting his senior championship at Oak Brook Golf Club in 2017. "I play usually three rounds a week." Retired since 2001 from a career in chemical engineering, Brandenburg said he's glad he stayed on the job until he was 67, a little past the typical point...
"Age is not important unless you're a cheese." - Helen Hayes Ahh, if only that were true. But in this age-obsessed society, a person's age does matter - in innumerable ways. Unfortunately, when we think about aging, one of two things usually happens. Our thoughts are negative - or we're in complete denial. What can we do? Change the way we think about aging. Or, as the name of this series suggests, redefine it. "Reframing the issue requires the disrupting of "othering" older...
As a physician, I want to emphasize that discussing end-of-life care is not just for the elderly and the dying. The topic is of urgent importance for everyone, even though conversations about our mortality are difficult and easily avoided. Completing your own advance directive detailing your wishes before a medical crisis represents a true gift to your family. Encouraging other loved ones to do likewise can create a shared understanding of what each person desires should they...
Shortly after her divorce, Julia Sweeney bought a little bungalow in Hollywood and imagined a wonderful life there - living alone, entertaining friends and spending afternoons listening to Tchaikovsky. "That's basically when God said, 'Ha!' " Sweeney told the audience at JourneyCare's Life is a Journey program Tuesday night in Oak Brook. The former Saturday Night Live star, writer, director, actress and monologist proceeded to share about 30 minutes of "God Said Ha!" a show...
In a September 2015 column, I announced the formation of an ad-hoc advisory board in conjunction with our paper's series spotlighting mental health issues. Two years later, that advisory board disbanded and gave me one directive: write more about aging. As we had brainstormed coverage topics over two years, the issue of mental health and aging kept coming up. We discussed the sense of loss many feel as they lose family and friends and their own physical and cognitive...
