I read a weekly email called “3-2-1” Thursdays” by James Clear, the author of “Atomic Habits.” And I usually agree with his personal writings and the poems and literature he shares, under a focused theme, from other authors. However, one week in late 2021, I disagreed with what he wrote on the topic of resilience and growth.
“Growth demands a temporary surrender of security,” he wrote. “It may mean a giving up of familiar but limiting patterns, safe but unrewarding work, values no longer believed in, relationships that have lost their meaning.”
Overall, I agree with this. But as a single parent, I do not currently have the luxury of a “growth” job. I cannot surrender my security. I have a “safe” job, a far cry from my dream job. However, that safe job allows me to live my dreams and grow in the rest of my life.
First, I work from home (like many of us) and that allows me to be there for my kids before school, during the day if they need me and after school. It truly is a dream, as I feel very lucky to work full time and spend as much time with them as I do.
Second, I am earning money, and that is allowing me to buy a home, merge families and to travel and hike all over the country with family. I am achieving personal growth, pushing my limits when summiting mountains after eight hours of hiking.
Third, I am currently in grad school, pushing my intellectual limits and learning in addition to work and family. I’m developing even greater resilience, especially when I am tasked with a difficult assignment and am tired from a long work day.
These elements, hopefully, will allow me to grow my career from that “safe” job to one that is more rewarding. I believe his quote needs a timeline and steps in place, as not many of us have the luxury to give up all current limiting patterns and surrendering security. We can find that dream, growth and resilience in smaller parts of our lives.
I hope to find and take on an “unsafe” job, meaning one that will truly challenge me, knowing I have these other pieces in place.
“Nobody is rooting for you to fail. You may succeed. You may fail. But, for the most part, nobody cares one way or the other. This is good. The world is big and you are small, which means you can chase your dreams with little worry for what people think,” Clear wrote.
So please do chase your dreams in a part, or many parts, of your life. I am doing that now and moving to Downers Grove. My second chance, seven kids, two cats and one dog will be part of my new dream, and this will be my last column.
Thank you for reading, and for the many comments and feedback I receive with each article. I have loved and appreciated this opportunity, Hinsdale, The Hinsdalean and all of you readers.
— Mistie Psaledas has been a contributing columnist for The Hinsdalean. Readers can email her at [email protected].
