What will help kids as school year begins?
The lazy days of summer have turned into the busy days of another new school year. Shabana Sheikh, program director of The Community House’s Counseling Center, said a little planning can go a long way toward getting the new year off to a good start.
“There’s a lot of exciting stuff that kids look forward to,” said Sheikh, a licensed clinical professional counselor who earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a master’s degree in clinical psychology from Benedictine University in Lisle. And while earlier bedtimes probably don’t make the list, Sheikh said starting an evening routine in the days before classes start can make a big difference.
Sheikh suggests establishing a routine that includes time to plan for the next day, followed by a break from screen time before settling in for the night. Dinner might be moved to an earlier hour, followed by time to organize and relax.
Getting supplies in order, lunches packed and clothes planned the night before can make mornings easier and less stressful for the entire family, Sheikh said.
Even children who look forward to their return for school are likely to feel a bit of uncertainty as they prepare to meet new teachers, new students and maybe even attend a new school. Sheikh said parents should let their children know that all of these feelings are normal.
“It’s OK to feel what they’re feeling,” she said.
She encourages parents to initiate conversations in the days leading up to and following the first days back in class. Rather than asking general questions that can render vague answers, Sheikh suggests questions that seek a specific response. Instead of asking, “How was your day?” a question like, “What was the best thing about your day?” is more likely to ignite a conversation.
New experiences cause some anxiety and fear. Walking through the experience, either verbally or physically, may help. For example, a child who is nervous about walking to school for the first time might benefit from a practice run.
Parents can help children who are apprehensive about school or who are lamenting the end of summer by talking about the good parts of a new school year. Build excitement by going shopping for supplies together, choosing a new backpack or planning lunches.
“It can be a really good way to connect with kids,” Sheikh said.
Along with new supplies, Sheikh said children should start their school year with strategies to help them ease anxiety and stress.
“There are so many breathing techniques,” Sheikh said, including box breathing. The technique involves breathing in, holding your breath, breathing out, and then holding your breath again, all at equal intervals.
The return to school can be stressful for parents, too. Sheikh said parents need their own ways to manage stress, including support systems to turn to with worries and fears.
As the school year progresses, Sheikh said parents should continue to talk to their children about school and to watch for signs of stress and anxiety. Parents and children also should be careful not to place too much importance on achievement.
“Reinforce the message of overall well being,” Sheikh said.
— by Sandy Illian Bosch
