I write about friendship a lot in this space. How it grows, changes, saves us. The many forms it takes - neighbors, families, groups (book club!), even random acquaintances gone rogue into full friendships. Variations in form, size, duration all adding to the richness these relationships bring to our lives.
I've also written about how, if we're lucky, friendships find us where we are, and help guide us into the place we're meant to be. How, if we're very lucky, those friendships accompany us on our journeys and grow right along beside us.
But have I ever written about the relationships we make through work? Basically, we spend more waking hours interacting with colleagues than with almost any other group of people. They can make or break our day, even our job. Toxic/negative coworkers deplete us; positive/ upbeat ones fill our tanks.
So here comes a holiday shout-out to work friends, the people placed in our lives by shared circumstance, who see us through the ebb and flow of professional and personal chaos. They say "you can't choose your family," and indeed we may not be able to choose our colleagues, either. But what happens when your colleagues actually become a family of sorts?
I have a partner who was first my teacher, then my friend, then my colleague - and who will always be my mentor. She established my practice 22 years ago and has supported me through life's many ups and downs. We have consumed a fair amount of red wine together. We laugh a ton. We endured COVID as physicians together. People sometimes say we look alike. I learn so much from her wisdom, her truisms, and her optimism. I love her like a sister.
Similarly, I have worked with two women in my office for 20 years. We have watched each others' families grow, and shrink. We have cried together, but more often, we laugh until we cry. We feel each other's pain, celebrate our joys, and can finish each others' sentences. Two newer additions to our team have become our adopted daughter and surrogate niece. We have an excess (or a dearth) of estrogen in that clinic: we can never get the thermostat right. I would do anything for these women. They, too, are my sisters.
In another office, a shorter time frame, but another amazing team. The loyalty, intelligence, and professionalism of the people in this group make me grateful for every day I've gotten to work with them. They are fun and funny and smart.
So in this season of gratitude: thank you to my work/family/friends who happen to be one and the same. I couldn't get through my days without you.
Especially now, during the busy holidays, may we all appreciate - and celebrate - the gifts of our varied circles of friendship and family.
- Kelly Abate is a contributing columnist. Readers can email her at [email protected].
