As the calendar fell, we had just a few extra days before Thanksgiving this year. That really helped November feel paced just right. But then, Thanksgiving hit, December came whirling in and we were off to the holiday races.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the holidays and all the annual events and traditions that surround me and my family during this time. “Faithful friends who are dear to us, gather near to us, once more” never rings more true than it does in December. It’s a grand time of the year!
During this season we celebrate any and all of the areas in our lives where we’ve built community. School communities, work communities, neighborhood communities ... even, the pickleball community. You name it and there was probably an ornament exchange, cookie exchange or Secret Santa exchange to accompany it in the last month.
While we try to celebrate our communities all year long, the holidays provide the occasion to make those get-togethers actually happen and a backdrop to do so in a sparkly manner. The ritual and rhythm of these gatherings give us something to anchor ourselves around for the next 11 months of the year and that’s important. Having a sense of fellowship with others is one of the things that can make us feel connected, confident and most importantly, give us a sense of belonging.
Have you ever been in a crowd of people and still felt lonely? Feeling surrounded by people and feeling a sense of belonging are different. We all want and need to know that we’re a part of something — a group, a family, a fellowship — that’s larger than ourselves. That’s belonging. Belonging might be the biggest gift of the season.
For all the hustling and bustling and magic making I did over the years as a mom, what I hope most is that my kids grew up knowing they are connected to something beyond themselves. Be it a family, friend or other type of community, my wish is that my children feel a part of something and have that sense of belonging.
December can be an exhausting time of making all the things happen. But as another holiday season comes to a close and we reflect back on the fun that was had, I already feel a pang of nostalgia that lets me know it was all worth it.
This is a special time of the year shared with special people. The connections and memories give us a coziness in knowing that we are surrounded by warmth, love and friendship. Belonging. And belonging is the key ingredient that we all need as we settle in for a long winter’s nap.
— Carissa Kapcar of Hinsdale is a contributing columnist. Readers can email her at [email protected].
